Polyamory has been a part of our nature since the dawn of time. However, over the years, people have developed negative attitudes toward these types of relationships and believe that only one person should be in our romantic lives. Moreover, religion played a significant role in the polyamory dismissing process.
In the past few years, polyamory came knocking on the doors of our society since people have realized that they have free will and can satisfy their desires however they like. In the 21st century, the occurrence of polyamory is not taboo; people can do whatever they wish and not be judged for it.
This polyamorous dating guide will walk you through all the basics of polyamorous relationships and how they function after being neglected for many centuries.
What is a polyamorous relationship?
A polyamorous relationship is a relationship that involves more than two people. These types of relationships imply that you are not committed to dating one person specifically; you can date as many people as you want, with or without your partner. However, to establish polyamorous relationships, you must get consent from all the parties involved.
The basis of these relationships lies in the motto of not believing that love is finite or that you can find true love in only one person. People in polyamorous relationships want to emotionally and physically connect with more than one person and believe every person is unique and carries a particular type of love.
Many people mistake polyamorous relationships for infidelity, but that is not the case. As previously mentioned, all parties in a polyamorous relationship consensually enter their relationships. That means all parties have a green light for “cheating” or being with others.
However, polyamory is not as simple as it sounds. There are many types of polyamorous relationships in the world, and new kinds keep coming into existence.
Types of polyamorous relationships
Yes, dating more than one person at a time is a polyamorous relationship. However, other types of polyamorous relationships exist, and we expect new types to arise sometime in the future. Here are some of the basic polyamorous relationship types.
1. Vee polyamorous relationships
Vee polyamorous relationships (or V relationships) are relationships where one person is dating multiple people simultaneously, but these people aren’t dating one another.
For example, you could be dating three people, but these people don’t have anything to do with one another. They are only sexually or emotionally connected to you but not to one another.
2. Solo polyamory
One’s pleasure over another’s is what characterizes solo polyamory. That implies that the person initiating the polyamorous relationship aims to put their needs and wants first. People who enjoy this type of relationship are not interested in giving others pleasure (both physical and emotional) but rather in fulfilling their needs.
3. Triad polyamorous relationships
As the name suggests, three members are in triad polyamorous relationships. In these relationships, all three people date each other, and there are no preferences. People in these relationships usually don’t have a favorite partner; they all work together and share everything.
4. Quad polyamorous relationships
Similarly to triad polyamorous relationships, quad relationships are relationships where four people are involved. This type of relationship usually results from connecting two previously monogamous couples into one relationship. These people share emotional and physical connections, sometimes one over the other.
5. Kitchen table polyamorous relationships
A kitchen table polyamorous relationship is a relationship where all members feel emotionally connected. These couples often act as a family, having dinners, going on dates, etc. The kitchen table relationship is the most emotionally involved type of polyamorous relationship.
6. Parallel polyamory
On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have parallel polyamorous relationships. In these relationships, emotional connection is not included; they are often based only on the physical. People in a parallel polyamorous relationship can date other people outside the said relationship. We can say that this type is also an open relationship.
7. Hierarchical polyamorous relationships
In a hierarchical relationship, one person is on top of the pyramid, or a couple stands in that place. These relationships will have someone in a higher position than other parties who makes decisions alone or with the other person standing on the top of the pyramid with them. They don’t involve other parties in significant decisions or occasions.
8. Non-hierarchical polyamorous relationships
Similarly to kitchen table relationships, non-hierarchical relationships are based on emotional connections. In these relationships, all parties are connected and don’t have a favorite. They make all decisions together, and every event includes all parties. Every party has an equal role in this type of polyamorous relationship.
9. Mono-poly relationships
The most complex polyamorous relationship has to be the mono-poly relationship. In this relationship, one party is monogamous, while the other is polyamorous. That implies that the monogamous party will only date one person, while that other person can date whoever they want. Additionally, the monogamous and third parties don’t have connections or contact in most cases.
Are polyamorous relationships legal?
If you are thinking about starting a relationship involving more than two people but are afraid of the legal circumstances, there is no need to worry. Polyamorous relationships are entirely legal; you can simultaneously be in a relationship with as many people as you want.
However, marriage with multiple people is forbidden in most states. If you plan to marry more than one person, you must ensure that your country accepts polygamy, a marriage between multiple people.
For example, polygamy is legal in Afghanistan, India, Malaysia, and other countries, but there are limits to how many people you can marry. Some countries, such as Sweden, approve of polygamous marriages if the parties tie the knot outside the country.
In short, polyamorous relationships are legal everywhere, and you will not be prosecuted for dating multiple people. However, you will not be able to marry multiple people if your country’s law doesn’t approve of polygamy.
Polyamory and religion
As previously mentioned, polyamory has existed since the dawn of time. However, with the creation of new religions, the acceptance of such relationships began to drop. Some religions are strictly against these types of relationships because they are against their rules, beliefs, and values.
For example, Christianity might be one of the most conservative religions in the world, where polyamorous relationships are considered a sin. Moreover, this religion imposes the belief that physical pleasures are strictly related to reproduction, not satisfaction. Christianity also only accepts heterosexual couples.
In Buddhism, polyamorous relationships are in the neutral position on the scale. This religion states that you shouldn’t be too connected to someone; everything somewhere in the middle is fine. As long as you are not crazy about polyamory and want to dedicate your whole life to it, Buddhism is okay with multiple-party relationships.
On the other hand, Islam and Judaism accept polyamorous relationships. Islam embraces polygyny (a man marrying multiple women) since it considers that women need protection. If a man can protect many women, Islam welcomes that with open arms.
Judaism has a different approach to polyamorous relationships; as long as you are happy and feeling divine, you can be in a relationship with whomever you want.
Other religions, such as paganism, Unitarian Universalism, and others, completely accept and embrace polyamorous relationships. In these religions, the most important thing is to be yourself and find your happiness. If having multiple partners will be your source of joy, you can practice polyamorous relationships.
What can go wrong?
Unfortunately, not all societies accept polyamorous relationships. Since people haven’t learned how to embrace this type of relationship, many things can go wrong. Additionally, we have gotten so used to monogamous relationships that some biased opinions may still be present, even if we favor polyamorous relationships.
Since we were taught to love only one person and not let anyone get near to them, some people in polyamorous relationships may deal with jealousy.
Jealousy often occurs if you are in a polyamorous relationship for the first time and you cannot get used to the fact that you are sharing your partner with someone else. If this feeling overwhelms you and you start feeling worse, you should give up on the idea of being in a polyamorous relationship.
If you are someone who likes to plan and have their whole life figured out, that may be a problem in a polyamorous relationship. You may have to change your plans often since there are more than two of you. Each person has a different schedule, and it may be challenging to spend much time together.
Setting rules in a polyamorous relationship
Since polyamorous relationships can be a sensitive topic for many people, it is essential to set some ground rules when you enter a multiple-party relationship. These rules will help you and the other parties feel comfortable in your polyamorous relationship.
We will present some of the rules you can suggest, but this step depends on you and your partners.
Always ask for consent
In polyamorous relationships, you need to make sure that all parties are included and that they feel comfortable. Ensuring that all parties are consensual with the things taking place in the relationship is vital.
For example, you may want to arrange some intimate time, but one of the parties doesn’t feel like it. The key is to respect their feelings and not push them into something they don’t want.
Don’t push yourself
If you are already in a relationship and your partner wants you to widen your horizons, you are not obliged to enter a polyamorous relationship.
If you don’t like being with multiple people, you shouldn’t push yourself into trying something you don’t want. Just because you love your partner doesn’t mean you should neglect your feelings and step over your boundaries.
Take care of your mental health
Mental health is one of the most critical things in any relationship. If you feel a polyamorous relationship would negatively affect your mental health, you shouldn’t be in such a relationship.
Make sure not to neglect your feelings and that you feel fine in a relationship. Additionally, you should ensure that the others’ mental health stays in top condition in the relationship.
Everything might seem fine and dandy when you first enter a polyamorous relationship. However, you might want to sit down and talk things through. Setting boundaries that will make you feel comfortable is crucial.
Additionally, you should define your polyamorous relationship (types of polyamorous relationships mentioned above) so that all parties know how to behave.
You should use protection to avoid sexually transmitted infections if you have multiple physical relationships.
These infections transmit from one sexual partner to another, and polyamorous relationships are all about having multiple partners. Make sure to use protection to steer clear of any possible dangers to your health.
Polyamorous relationships are not a new term, as some may think. The problem is that we have come to terms with the fact that some people want to date more than one person at once.
We have explained what polyamorous relationships are, as well as their types. We have also covered the religious backgrounds and the legality of polyamorous relationships. Hopefully, you understand them better and can make an informed decision when determining which type suits you best.
Before you enter this type of relationship, make sure that you are comfortable with it and that it is what you want. You can always back out if it doesn’t suit your needs, but being 100% sure upfront will help you enjoy a fantastic experience without regrets.